Monday, September 15, 2008

A Bottle of Red. . . A Bottle of White


A bottle of white, a bottle of red
Perhaps a bottle of rose instead.
We'll get a table near the street
In our old familiar place . . . 
~ Billy Joel

I forgot to post my photo for today last night, and since I couldn't sleep, I got up to do it now.   After finding infomercials on most cable stations this morning, I think I need a glass of wine, but it's too early, so I'll just look at the photo.

Here's the thing I've noticed about late-night (or early morning, depending on your perspective) television:

I can find any goofy gadget on it.  If I need something to help me with my awful hair, the InStyler is the thing!  I can get it for $14.99 (plus shipping).  And, if I order RIGHT NOW, I'll get extra gifts.

If I need to "lose" some inches off the waist, I can be "working out with Tony" with the 10 Minute Trainer withing 3-5 days for two small payments of $39.95.  And, if I call right now, they'll enter me in the $10,000 drawing.  AND!  I'll be more energetic!  It will change my life!

Or, how about Bowflex machines?

If I need to look better, I can buy the Chic Shaper.  Not only will it help my shape and make my waist look smaller, it will make me stand up straighter and help my posture!

Once I take care of the body, I can help the face with Bare Minerals Makeups!

The Magic Bullet will help me crush garlic, chop onions (and nuts), blend my own frozen coffee drinks (in *their* own glasses), make a delicious, ready-to-eat salsa (FRESH!) or chicken salad, make and cook parmesan cheese sauce or pesto sauce for pasta (in 5 seconds!!), or grind my own coffee beans, and more!  I'll get a number of different size cups (microwave-safe!), the Magic Bullet blender, two blades (One whips!), shaker tops, resealable lids, a recipe book, four party mugs!  I could spend hundreds and hundreds on several different appliances, but if I order NOW, I'll get a blender cup AND a juicer attachment FREE!!  And if I call within the next 18 minutes, I'll get a SECOND Magic Bullet FREE!!!  And, it will be just $99.99 (three easy payments of $33.33!!!!).

I can find out how to MAKE MONEY on eBay by buying Options for Incomes for just $39.95!  And, I'll get free access to this guy's members' support site!  (Hey!  One couple made over $500,000 on eBay using this system!)  And, if I call within 10 minutes, I get upgraded to FREE EXPRESS DELIVERY!

The BEST thing is that if I need a home, I can own one "FREE & CLEAR" for as little as $10 (with NO payments!)  I just have to use the tactics in some guy's real estate system and purchase them through government tax foreclosure programs that very few people know exist.

And, once I get that house, I can clean and sanitize it with the Monster Cleaning Machine!

Excuse me. .. . I'm going to go buy a house. . . . .

12 comments:

Ferreira-Pinto said...

Heard it's a good time to buy houses in the USA ... crisis seems to be knocking everywhere, doesn´t it?

As for the wine, in Portugal those questions about being white, pink or red would have one and only one answer: "A lot, please!" :)

Rambling Round said...

When I can't sleep, those boring infomercials generally do the trick!

Denton said...

I hope you sleep better tonight.

My wife purchased a massage bed by Migun to help her sleep. I scoffed at the idea however now each night I have a 30 minute massage before bed and I sleep very contently.

Virginia said...

After reading all that I need that glass of wine and it's only 9 am!

Halcyon said...

Oh goodness, I know EXACTLY what you mean about those infomercials.

My husband gets sort of fascinated by them though, since they don't really have infomercials in Germany. He has actually bought one thing based on an infomercial (although we went out and bought it at the store later). That is the SkyCaddie. He couldn't sleep one night/morning and saw the plug on the golf channel. He contemplated it for several weeks before buying. And I must say it was a worthy investment. Not sure about the slicer/dicer/juicer though!

Chris said...

I have to update this. . .I went to Sam's Club today and saw the Magic Bullet-thingy there for $59. Now, that was for just one unit, and it did not come with three easy payments, but still. . . . .

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Knoxville Girl said...

Those infomercials are a trip! Now I opt for the Internet instead of TV when I'm up at odd hours.

babooshka said...

It's the same in the UK. Mine would be a glass of red.

Carlos said...

You and I face to face...hhhm. Gee, I love that song. You couldn't have chosen a better one. A lot of contrast between what the lyrics say and the scenario you depict here, which is more of Pressure by Billy Joel too. I enjoyed the way you linked up all those ads in one beautiful text and gave all the nonsense some sense, at least from a literary point of view. One gets the idea that tomorrow is going to be the day, you're gonna win something, your gonna earn some big money, you're gonna be cuter and in better shape ,in a big house, with a beautiful wife (song) and in the meantime, you lose the real meaning of life, sitting in an Italian restaurant, drinking some wine with the person you love. But then you think, hmm, cheap or expensive wine. And there we go again ;)

brian said...

i often find myself wanting those things on tv b/c of the 'extra' gifts that come along with it... they always make me think, WOW, that's lot of stuff for that price!!

Kathleen said...

Nice Shot